Today we went to Hallmark to get Christmas ornaments. Each year, the children pick out new ones that capture something of recent interest to them, such as the Lollipop Guild, a violinist, Luke Skywalker, Barbie, Harry Potter or Club Penguin. Taken together, the ornaments on the tree tell stories and mark the passage of time.
They made their selection and I took the ornaments to the register. Working the register was an unenthused cashier in his mid-thirties who really didn’t like his day or his job or both. Our conversation went as followed:
“Do you want postage stamps with this?”
“No thank you.”
“Do you have a rewards card with us?”
“Nope.”
“Would you like to open an account and save money with no cost to you?”
“No thanks.”
I turned to get the children and realized that Micah was still holding his ornament in his hand and that I had only paid for four of them and not five. Rats. “Let’s try this again. I forgot one of them.”
I placed the last and final ornament back on the counter to start another transaction. Would you believe it? The cashier asked me the same set of questions:
“Do you want postage stamps with this?”
Didn’t we already have this conversation?… “Uh, no.”
“Do you have a rewards card with us?”
You’re joking right….“No, I still don’t.”
“Would you like to open an account with us and save money with no cost to you?”
I can’t believe this…“Again, no thank you.”
I left with my laugh for the day. I couldn’t decide who he was. I thought he might be an alien from Men in Black. Or the modern-day company man who had to keep to the company script even when it wasn’t necessary, and especially then. Or the most naive literalist who ignores the spirit of any text. Or Mr. Roboto. Caleb concluded he was a drone from Star Trek.